My ass lost its Nissan seat shape

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Today was the first time I drove since I parked my car on Monday. The brake discs rusted and my ass is no longer sleek and slender after 5 weeks of molding by the meant-for-a-Japanese-18-year-old seat.
Don’t worry about the breaks, I just rode them to like-new shininess by driving through Chicago when The Whole World was on the road for Memorial Day. I wonder how long it would have taken to drive to NYC today seeing it took nearly two hours to go 30 miles? 137 hours.

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