I Like Chinese Food

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That’s the name of a racist, crap song and video some rich daddy bought for his precious little princess, Allison Gold. Ugh, why a Jewish last name? We need to fight anti-Semitism, not feed it.
The silly little muppet got me to thinking though. I like Chinese food too. Why am I not eating it right now?
I Googled “Chinatown Houston” and 20 minutes later I was at Formosa Bistro. I picked it because a bunch of ancient Chinese people were walking out of there with smiling faces. I was the only gwai lo. I like being special.
There was a big table with a bunch of people getting daytime drunk for a birthday while a sexy South Korean soap opera with Chinese subtitles played on the wall. So yes, a perfect atmosphere.
I had the dan dan noodles, which are not quite as spicey as Szechuan style but they had a lovely sesame flavor. The twice-cooked pork with dried tofu was excellent. Nice pieces of fatty pork belly. A great surprise was the beef soup that comes with lunch. Looked boring but it was clearly made in house with fatty meaty bones. So good.
When I ordered, the waitress told me she would get me a fork. So I told her in Mandarin, kwaitza, yom hi yo (chop sticks please). Without missing a beat, she started speaking Chinese. I had to tell her that I cannot understand her Taiwanese accent, I’m used to proper Beijing Mandarin. I have 12 Chinese phrases and they are pretty specific to eating, not conversing.

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